“Men, ladies and gentlemen, I have a lot to cover so please just listen for now. You’ll have questions, but I may answer them before you ask and if you all start asking questions we’ll never finish and we’ll all just die out here of old age.”“To start with, we left Widemouth thirteen days ago. Sailing and rowing is hard work, and there’s a chance you’ll get injured or killed. So, I offered the seamen two Pinches a day for this voyage. Further, I wasn’t planning on getting in trouble but we brought with us part of the town’s Guard and some toys in case we ran into trouble. I promised that, if we had to fight, I would double your pay.”“That means, if we tied up to the pier at Widemouth today and said “We’re home!” I’d owe each man fifty-two Pinches. That’s your pay to date, fifty-two Pinches. Or, if you prefer, thirteen Quads. More than enough to start your own farm, if you had a wife and some friends to help you run it.”“You want your pay. However, we aren’t home yet. I don’t want to. ”“I am Princess Siona,” the faerie hissed. “I am the most beautiful daughter of Queen Sidhe, the most radiant Faerie Queen. How dare you call me ugly. Call me pretty”“You’re as pretty as a boil on a barguest’s cock,” I laughed.She shrieked so loud my ears rang. It echoed through the room. Her purple hair stood on ends as the room crackled with her fury. I dodged through the priceless treasures the Doge had collected, weaving between statues carved of rare stones or cast from precious metals. I dived over chest stuffed with gems and gold coins. I dodged around plinths holding expensive jewelry.I snatched a pendant with a diamond the size of my fist.Behind me, the magic crashed into the works of art, knocking over the plinths, cracking the wood of the chest, and rocking the statues on their bases. They wobbled and teetered, threatening to fall over as I laughed, sparks dancing through the air.“If you are the most beautiful daughter of Queen Sidhe,” I called, “then your mother must be so.
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